Our perceptions of the world and ourselves are odd. Sometimes what we think happened didn’t actually happen. Sometimes what we feel isn’t based on reality.
As I said yesterday after the race, I thought I really sucked. But lets look at the numbers. I know you can prove anything with “facts” and that there are “lies, damn lies, and statistics”, but that’s all we’ve got, other than our subjective “feelings”.
First set of numbers: mile splits. 6.10, 6.23, 6.26, 6.12, 6.20, 6.30, 1.07. The key numbers for me yesterday were 6.10 and 6.30, i.e. I ended much slower than I started. That was the basis of my “I sucked” feeling.
6.10. First miles are always too fast. This one was uphill and it was still too fast. At what I thought was the half-mile point I saw 3.47 on my watch and thought “oh no!” so I actually picked it up a click. Obviously a mistake. The middle splits pretty much followed the hills. No surprise there and I shouldn’t be too upset. I fell in with a random group and stayed with them. Except when I saw ~25.10 at mile 4 and I thought, “i just ran my last tempo at 24.30, and that’s supposed to be ’10k pace’. wtf?”
6.30. Mile six felt like a disaster. Everyone else was leaving me or catching up, but I just couldn’t shake the bad thoughts in my head. I was running with my eyes closed (a bad sign), and just wanted it all to end. I thought about walking. I saw Jessica and Gilbert and felt ashamed. And why, if I was so dead, could I sprint the last .2 miles at 5.35 pace when Rich tried to pass? I felt foolish.
Contrast those numbers with these. 2006 3M result: 1:33:50. 2007 3M result: 1:25:22. That’s a 9% improvement. And I was stoked about how well I did and how much I improved and everyone else was saying the same thing. And the Cap10K? 2006 result: 43:25. 2007 result: 39.13. That’s a 13% improvement. How about that? Better than the 3M improvement, but quite a different perception.
More numbers? I read that you could expect your 10k to be 2 x 5K + 1 minute. So I did 18.25 at Bagelfest. That translates to 37.50. Ugh, I was 1.23 off that. But I did 19.18 at Swedish Fish, which extrapolates to 39.36. Hmmm, I was .23 below that.
I could go on and on with numbers: about how I averaged about 5 hours of sleep last week, or how I felt dead from my highest milage week the week before, or about how I felt good doing Meriden on Tuesday and fartlek on Thursday. Thankfully, I won’t.
But what to believe? The final answer, I think, is I shouldn’t analyze it nearly so much, if at all. It’s a fun run and I’m just a fun runner. I enjoyed running with friends, seeing the spectators, being part of the crowd, listening to the bands. (For some reason I really liked the bands and made a conscious effort to listen, whereas at 3M I tried to block them out.) Hopefully I’ll keep improving, build confidence, learn to have more fun while racing, and the only numbers that matter will be the cash I win. Haha. Obviously kidding.
Were you really running with your eyes closed?
Enough with the shame! I think Gilbert should hire a psychologist. I hear too much about shame and embarassment from the Gazelles! However, who am I to deny someone else’s feelings. It’s not like you ate magic brownies the night before the race. Or did you?
So you had your highest mileage week plus at least 1 hard workout. You weren’t exactly tapering. And the humidity. Oy vay or whatever.
What I saw were a bunch of Gazelles working really hard out there. It was great watching and it was obvious that it was hard.
Congrats on your time improvement….and there are many more races to run…
The psychologist would be for us of course, not Gilbert.