I ran pretty hard this morning, and rather enjoyed it. Feels good to hurt a little bit, feel some pain and want to quit, and not do it. Four miles total, with a two mile tempo to end it. Sounds so lame when I write it out, but you gotta start somewhere, right? Back in my Gazelle days, we ran four-mile tempo runs, and I used to relish running them. Most people hated them (ahem, Jessica), but I actually looked forward to the pain and struggle as a sort of personal and community challenge. Plus I just liked working hard and seeing where I could push myself. I think my best tempo time back in the day was just over 23 minutes. Well, today I ran my two-mile tempo in 13:35, or 6:56 and 6:39, so half as a long and more than a minute slower per mile. I should’t compare my current self to my former self, and really I don’t, but it’s just interesting to see where I am relative to before. Anyway, I like running hard.
On Saturday I had a troublesome episode that I’ve been thing about a lot since it happened. I was out for a five-mile run when this car sped by, hit the brakes and this woman got out. She slammed the door and ran over to the sidewalk where she sat down, put her face in her hands, and it looked like she was crying. I was running the other direction on the other side of the road and by this time had passed her. I slowed down and thought about going over to check on her, but then thought, what if she’s crazy? What if the guy comes back and is dangerous? Should I get involved? I stopped running, even turned around to go over to her, but again I stopped. I was two miles from home so what could I really do? I decided to run home, get my phone and car and come back and see if she was still there. But when I got home I was late for being somewhere else, so I didn’t ever go back and check on her. Frankly, I forgot about her until later.
I think the reason I feel horrible is that I know what the right thing to do was, and I didn’t do it. I think I try to be a good person, but failed this test. Next time right? Always next time. Sigh. But at least I run hard. :(